What the F*ck! I really wanted a drink tonight. My Dad and his new wife were coming over and taking me out to dinner. All of a sudden, I kinda got some anxiety- I couldn't figure out why! I think it was a combination of the fact that my house needed to be spotless, the baby was very needy of my attention, I had to run out and get them a card, I did my hair curly and it kinda looked like shit, and we were going out to eat- my favorite thing to do. And generally an occasion where I enjoyed a glass of wine- or two... So they came over, it was great to see them and they were so excited to show me the pictures they took in Italy on their honeymoon.
They did tons of wine tastings in these beautiful wine cellars and ate amazing lunches at these gorgeous cafe's in Rome. In every F-ing picture, they were drinking the most amazing wine and eating the most divine food. SOOO Jealous. SOOOO jealous they can drink all they want- and they drink too much. SOOO Jealous that they don't feel the need to quit. They totally support me in my decision to get sober, we had sparking water at dinner, no drinks, so I appreciate that. But they are probably opening a wonderful bottle of red as I write. AHHHH!! UGH!!!!!
I really wanted wine and played with the idea that I could go get a bottle, but I didn't. I feel a little bit better now that I am in for the night. I guess I am too proud of my 8 days, I don't want to fuck it up. Plus you'll all think I'm a sober poser. But I'm not. DAMNIT, though, I keep thinking about the future and wanting to enjoy wine in a normal fashion, but that's not possible right now. I could drink two bottles tonight if I wanted to. I had the opportunity to drink with responsibility and I obviously was unable to so, DEAL WITH REALITY KRISTA!! Get the baby to bed, get a good nights sleep and stop obsessing over wine. I didn't name this blog WINE-O for nothing! Well, I managed to get through my first real craving, but its wasn't fun. Tomorrow is another day, thank God.
10 comments:
Well done, you didn't give in!
It must have been really hard going through all those photos.
It's great that they're supporting you and not drinking at dinner.
I thought your hair looked cool!
Next time you have a craving, think it thru to the end, think of the consequences. That helps me. I'm afraid of what I'll do if I drink, if I go into a black out, who knows what I'll do. That scares me more than anything.
I know that had to be tough, & you must have the willingness more than you know. Think of how much better you feel today, & that you get to enjoy your son. How awesome is that? Good job Krista! Keep writing about your progress, the down times too, we're all here to support each other. You have friends in the blogworld.
Fantastic job Krista. And congrats on your 8 days. You will get through today, and tomorrow's another day. Do you have anyone you can call if the temptation to use gets too strong? If not, make sure you do. Good luck and keep working it!
My sister is an alcoholic. I can't tell you how much I wish she had the strength and desire that you just showed. Thank you for making it through...one more day. Just today.
great blog - keep it up.
check out this post on daave's blog -> comes a time
so helpful for a newcomer, so helpful for an oldtimer
good luck with this
that would have been really really hard for me too. I know exactly how you feel, girl.
Congrats Krista,
It appears that things are begining to look up for you, your family moving closer, you staying sober, and working through your feelings and not giving in. Way to go.... You are doing great. Keep blogging too, it helps alot. Keep your head up, and looking forward to your future, you have a bright one in store for you.
Roxy
Hi,
You sure have some beautiful honesty here. Keep on this path and you will discover what you need to . . .
BTW you are beautiful, but we must feel this within first, in time, it is all a process.
atta girl!
this is a good insight for family and friends of people battling their addictions.
(and you and the baby are adorable)
A spotless house with a baby? You got to be kidding me! Take it easy on yourself. Babies are a fulltime job.
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