Boys...Boys...Boys

SOOOOO, I woke up this morning around 8am. I'm smoking again so I went outside for a smoke. There were these guys paving my parking lot. I'm minding my own business but happen to look over and check out the guy in the truck in front of my apartment. HMM, he looks familiar. In fact, I used to fuck him!! He was a fling for several months. But I wasn't sure it was him, that would be too random. I went back inside but put on a hot pink tank top for my next smoke. Oh my god, it's him. I wanted to hide, but I wanted to say hi. I was yapping with my neighbor when he walked by and immediately noticed me. He said, "I saw you earlier, I knew that was you!!" A quick kiss on the cheek and quick hello. Been there, DONE that, no problem.

So, a few minutes later, a hottie is walking towards me, right at me. I'm like "who is this?" Oh my god, its Evan. He is a friend of my former fling and has been a crush of mine for 10 years. He used to date one of my friends, but we kissed one night and I have wanted him ever since. He is a bad boy, gorgeous, intimidating, sexy as hell and a sarcastic joy to talk to. (It's 8:30am and I'm in my PJ's). He talked to me for about 20 minutes- stopped working and was talking, staring deep into my eyes, intimidating the shit out of me. He is so beautiful. So, I think he was going to get fired so he started working again. Holy shit, Evan! Its been 7 years since he's seen me. I'm a mom, I'm a loner, I'm a little heavier than I was in high school. He has grown into a gorgeous piece of ass, lol. A few minutes later when I was casually sucking down another cig, he asked if he could use my bathroom. I said, "Yeah ok, hold on". I ran back in, cleaned my toilet, picked up my underwear and let him in. He left the seat up, but I was happy that he pissed in my toilet----that's forgivable. So, they left after they sealed the pavement.

I was depressed. I missed Evan. I knew they were coming back to line the spaces and couldn't wait another minute. I was looking out the window in despair. I just wanted to LOOK at him. I just wanted to talk to him again. They came back and Evan was casually wandering around my front door, pretending to work, as I assume he usually does. However, this time, his shirt was off and so was my ex's. God damn, their bodies are amazing. Six packs, cocoa brown skin, tattoos, muscles, sweat, dirt, etc etc etc etc. I chatted with Evan and tried to flirt very innocently... I was in heat. Mind you, I love my boyfriend, I want to be with him forever, but he hasn't been here for 5 months and I have another 5 to go. Hot ass sweaty dirty Evan is standing in front of me with a guilty smile. After some childish flirting, I wanted his number. Not to sleep with him... But I have lost a lot of friends since I stopped partying and I just wanna go out for a bite, or talk, or make out for hours....But making out will lead to more, who am I kidding.

He asked is we had a hose cause he had tar all over his legs and was burning up- good thing he took his shirt off. He asked me to wet his tee shirt so he could clean his legs. Then he asked me if I would take a quick shower with him- jokingly. Thank god I had just taken a shower. I could go on and on, but to wrap it up, as he was leaving, I panicked and asked for his number. He told me to give him my digits with a sexy smile and I knew I was asking for trouble. I gave him my number and know that's just the wrong thing to do. We don't know each other, its been 7 years. He wants sex, I want sex, I don't want a relationship. Why him!! The only guy I have had a monster crush on forever. I could give a shit about the other guy today. I wanted Evan- for ages. I don't know if I am able to hang out with him and not cause major trouble. He knows about my situation and I'm sure doesn't expect a commitment, but life is short and I want to see him again. I want to kiss him again, really. Nothing more. Sex is dangerous and there's many notches on his bed post. But I've known him for years and today, I cannot think of anything but him. I talked to my man this afternoon and told him I have slept with one of the guys outside paving our parking lot. He's cool, doesn't bother him, he knows I love him to death. But this is a crush, an old crush that I was forced to deal with. I want to see Evan, I don't know what I'm going to do. Its not to hurt Dave, or cheat like I usually do, I just want to see someone who I truly enjoy. What to do, what to do...